Self-confidence is one thing. And sexual self-confidence is another. If you’re feeling like you’d really enjoy having more confidence in your sexual identity and the bedroom—then this article is for you.
If you’re ready to express yourself and be seen, whilst having more confidence in your sexual nature, then keep reading because, in this article, you’ll learn some top tips on how you can step into your sexual self-confidence to embody your inner siren.
How To Build Sexual Self Confidence
Building sexual self-confidence isn’t an overnight journey, but with practice and consistency, these top tips for holistic sexual wellness can really help you to tap into your inner vixen.
1. Improve Your Emotional Wellness And Mental Health
Your sexual confidence is rooted in so many different things, including your emotional wellness and mental health.
Are you taking care of your mental health? And how do you feel emotionally? Journaling is a great way to locate any strengths, weaknesses and areas for improvement. If you’re feeling low-energy, down, and uninspired—the chances are this is going to affect the way you perceive yourself sexually too.
2. Improve Your Physical Health
A huge part of sexual confidence is self-perception. How you perceive yourself is everything. Do you believe you’re an adventurous siren and sensual goddess? Or do you feel frumpy, boring and lacklustre?
An easy way to boost your libido and sexual confidence is by taking care of your body with a good diet and physical activity or exercise.
When you feel good, and think that you look good—your sexual confidence will increase.
Do you have a regular exercise routine? And how is your diet? Can they be improved?
Tantra yoga is a great way to get the body moving and connect to your sensual nature. Tantra yoga is also good for improving emotional wellness, mental health, and physical wellness.
Want to learn more about the reasons that exercise is vital for your holistic health and wellness? Then be sure to check out my blog post here.
3. Invest In Some Decent Holistic Sex Education
Most mainstream sex ed leaves a lot left to be desired. In fact, many of us have a lot to dismantle surrounding our sexual identity due to mainstream sex education.
Good holistic sex education will help you to understand your body and the bodies of others—along with helping you to explore your sexuality and sensuality.
You’re not too old to learn about sex education just because you’re an adult—in fact, quite the opposite. It’s important to keep learning, even when you’re an adult.
Book yourself onto a good sexuality education course and start your journey towards embracing your sexual confidence and enjoying fulfilling sexual experiences.
4. Explore Your Sexual Expression
There are different ways to express yourself sexually—alone or with a sexual partner.
Think about the five different senses; touch, taste, smell, sight, and hearing. How do you want the senses to be perceived, given, and received? And how can you explore the senses through sexual expression?
Think about the senses in terms of what you would like to give and receive, and also what your sexual partner would like to give and receive.
With hearing you can play with sound, breath, different music, and ‘dirty’ talk. With taste, you can explore different foods and drinks. With scents, you can explore different perfumes, essential oils, and incense.
With visual stimulation, you can explore different makeup, hairstyles, lingerie, locations, or anything else that takes your fancy. And with touch, there’s a whole world to be explored! From light touch to hard touch, fast and soft touch, the tickling touch of a feather to the swift slap of a paddle.
Also remember, that your sexual identity isn’t fixed. Allow yourself to be fluid, grow, and change.
Perhaps on one day, you wish to explore your sexual identity and sexual expression through one mode, and the next day another! Sexual creativity is like food—no matter how good, you don’t want to eat the same food every day.
For some people, exploring sexual expression can also involve exploring sexual orientation and gender identity too! Your journey is unique and about your needs. Be brave enough to show up authentically for yourself.
5. Learn The Difference Between Sexuality And Sensuality
Sexuality and sensuality can sometimes be used synonymously, but they are separate things.
Sensuality is related to the five senses; touch, taste, hearing, sight, and smell. Whereas sexuality is related to your sexual organs and reproductive system.
And you can explore your sensuality without engaging in your sexuality. For example, the arts, music, dancing, and being creative are great ways to tap into your sensuality without necessarily engaging your sexual energy.
6. Be Openly Minded And Curious
Being open-minded and curious helps to build your sexual confidence. Allow yourself to be playful without being too serious—on paper, this sounds easy, but it might take you some practice!
Sex is about pleasure and having fun. Try not to take it too seriously and allow yourself to experience different things out of curiosity.
Don’t focus so much on ‘performance’, and try to focus more on pleasure and simply enjoying yourself.
7. Try New Experiences In Safe Spaces With Safe Sex Partners
Our sexual identity can be very sensitive because sex is often vulnerable. Most people feel quite vulnerable naked—especially when you then also combine that with sex. It is normal to feel emotionally sensitive whilst you’re naked in front of someone else during such a raw and often passionate act.
Make sure that you keep your emotional wellbeing in mind and choose your sexual partners mindfully and carefully, and try new experiences in safe spaces with safe partners so that your sexual confidence isn’t damaged.
A good sexual partner has the power to help you build your self-confidence, whereas a poor sexual partner can destroy your sexual self-esteem and sexual confidence.
8. Try Out Sex Toys
Trying different things can help you to build your confidence because sexual confidence can exponentially grow with new experiences.
Often confidence grows with practice, familiarity, and competence. So having a wider range of experience will often simultaneously increase your self-esteem.
Have you tried out sex toys before? What was your experience? If not, do you fancy trying them out? Is there a sex toy you haven’t tried yet but would like to?
You might want to check out my blog post here on some great reasons to start using sex toys in the bedroom.
9. Try Tantric Sex And Tantra Yoga
Tantra yoga and tantric sex are great for both your spiritual wellness and sexual wellbeing.
Tantric sex and tantra yoga are not always synonymous because tantra yoga is a vast spiritual practice, not all of which involve sexual pleasure. But they do hold similarities.
For example, they both teach you to be accepting of what is, and aware of the present moment—both of which are integral for sexual confidence and fulfilling sexual experiences.
You can use meditation and mindfulness during sexual activity to help you stop focusing on sexual performance and instead start focusing on pleasure and presence. This often helps to increase self-confidence and the sexual satisfaction in your sex life.
One of the great things about tantric sex and tantric yoga, is that you can practice them on your own or with a sexual partner.
If you’d like to learn more tips on sexual awakening for women, then be sure to check out my blog article here.
10. Buy Yourself New Lingerie
Wearing lingerie is one of my favourite ways to tap into my sexual expression and sexual confidence! Beautiful lingerie often makes me feel radiant and sexy… If you don’t already, why not try it for yourself?
And the great thing about gorgeous lingerie, is that it doesn’t have to be reserved for the bedroom—you can wear it every day!
If you’ve never worn ‘fancy’ underwear before, it might feel awkward to start. But be aware that you don’t actually have to wear it in front of anyone else if you’re not ready—you’re doing it for yourself first and foremost.
If you haven’t treated yourself to some beautiful lingerie in a while, why not explore it as an option or treat?
11. Pamper Your Body
Build yourself a good regular self-care routine and pamper yourself. A good pamper routine is such a treat for your senses, so it really helps you to connect to your sensual nature.
And furthermore, looking after your body and having a good grooming routine can help to build your sexual confidence too— because when you look good, you often feel good too!
12. Address Shame And Sexual Trauma
If you really want to boost your sexual confidence and improve your sex life, it’s probably going to require some discomfort sometimes.
You’ll most likely need to address any unhelpful conditioning that you’ve picked up about sex and your sexual identity. Addressing things like shame or trauma is also another vital aspect of freeing your sexual identity.
You may or may not be able to do this alone, and you might choose to do this with a certified mental health professional or counsellor for proper support and guidance—especially if you’ve experienced domestic abuse, sexual violence, or sexual exploitation.
Rebuilding yourself after sexual trauma, sexual abuse, or sexual assault can be a long journey—so be compassionate, kind, and patient with yourself whilst you unpack your sexual history and rewrite your sexual identity in a way that serves your highest self.
13. Don’t Be Afraid Of Rejection Or Things ‘Going Wrong’
Saying goodbye to fear is a huge part of sexual confidence. Sexual confidence isn’t knowing that things will always go to plan, it’s knowing that things will be fine even if they don’t go to plan.
Don’t be afraid to mess things up, get rejected, or perhaps be turned off by things you thought you’d like. Sexual exploration is all about having fun and following your bliss in a playful way. Try not to be so serious and let yourself be present in the moment without fear or judgement.
14. Look After Your Sexual Health And Practice Safe Sex
Don’t neglect your sexual health. Use condoms and get regular sexual health checkups for STIs, along with general checkups with a trusted medical health professional.
Knowing that you’re in good sexual health is not only responsible, but it also helps to build your sexual self-esteem and self-confidence.
15. Be Mindful Of How You Compare Yourself To Others
Judgement is pretty normal—we all do it. Judgement often gets a bad rap, but it isn’t all ‘negative’. For example, judgement can keep you safe—so it does have its benefits!
However, you do want to be mindful of how much you judge yourself, and the inner self-talk that you create when comparing yourself to others…
Are you consistently putting yourself down when comparing yourself to others?
If so, it might serve you to try and spend more time focusing inward. By focusing on your own sexual liberation and personal journey to more pleasure, it can help to drown out some of the negative self-talk and noise. This is especially important if you or your partner experiences erectile dysfunction, medical sexual dysfunction, or sexual problems.
There are multiple different ways that you can find yourself comparing to others aside from sexual health problems. For example, sex drive and levels of libido is a common comparison that people often make between themselves and others.
Try to remember that your sexual journey is unique, and it isn’t always helpful to compare yourself to others—because it might be contributing low sexual self-esteem.
If you do experience problems with sexual function or lower levels of sexual desire then remember that your sexual relationship, and intimacy, with your partner can be explored in a variety of ways other than just sexual intercourse.
16. Focus On The Present Moment
For many people, the pressure to perform is real. Tantra yoga is a great tool to help you to focus on the present moment during your sexual experiences.
Try to remove orgasm as the penultimate goal, and focus on increasing your pleasure in the present moment as the aim instead. This should help to get you out of your head, and into your body, whilst experiencing more pleasure!
17. Develop A Positive Body Image
Social media can be a great tool, but it can sometimes cause issues too—especially when it comes to positive body image.
Comparing yourself to curated content on social media can cause harm to your emotional wellbeing at best, and serious mental health problems (and more) at its worst.
Take note of your emotional and mental health needs, and detox from social media when necessary, along with implementing healthy boundaries so that you’re not destroying your self-confidence via the internet.
What Is Sexual Self-Confidence?
Sexual self-confidence is holding a positive attitude towards your sexual ability and confidence in your ability to experience your sexuality in a pleasurable and satisfying way.
It’s feeling comfortable in your sexual nature, and having the ability to own the wide spectrum of your sensuality.
If you hold good sexual self-confidence then you may feel positive towards different sexual experiences and capable that you can participate in sexual experiences in an enjoyable way, whether on your own or with sexual partners.
Conclusion
Building sexual self-confidence is a really rewarding journey. Be kind and patient with yourself wherever you are on your path, and trust your intuition. Your journey to boosting your sexual confidence is unique to your own individual circumstances and history.
Are there any other tips for building sexual self-confidence that you can add? Let me know in the comments!
If you liked my article, why not share it with your friends?
